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As human beings, we are wired to set goals for ourselves – whether it's a personal goal, like losing weight or learning a new skill, or a professional goal, like getting a promotion or growing our business. But as we pursue these goals, we often find ourselves caught in a paradox: the more we strive for success, the more we may find ourselves stressed and overwhelmed. This is called the Goal-Setting Paradox!
And is often the reason why most people falter very soon after making New Year’s resolutions!
Want to get better at your job? Great
Want to level up your writing skills? Great
Want to learn how to be a better sales person, even when you’re not in sales? Great
Want to lose weight? Great
Want to make more money? Great
Step #10 is the final goal or objective. The process of setting the goal is straightforward, but it's important not to overlook the intermediate steps (steps 1-9) that will determine success. These steps need to be clearly defined in order to effectively achieve the final goal.
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So how do we find success without stressing out?
Reconciling Ego and Soul Goals can help!
According to philosopher Ken Wilber, the key is to understand the difference between "ego" goals and "soul" goals.
Ego goals are those that are driven by our ego, or our sense of self. These goals are often based on external measures of success, such as wealth, power, or status - essentially third party validation, the worst type of validation, for your being and your psyche.
They may also be driven by a desire to prove ourselves to others or to meet societal expectations.
Soul goals, on the other hand, are those that are driven by our soul, or our deeper sense of purpose and meaning. These goals may be more internal, such as finding inner peace, cultivating compassion, or making a positive impact on the world.
The problem with ego goals is that they can often lead to a never-ending cycle of striving and stress. We may find ourselves constantly chasing after the next thing, always trying to "up our game" and meet external standards of success. This can leave us feeling burnt out and disconnected from our true selves.
Soul goals, on the other hand, offer a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction that is independent of external measures of success. By pursuing soul goals, we can find a sense of purpose and meaning that transcends the ego's need for validation and recognition.
So how do we strike the right balance between ego goals and soul goals?
One approach is to start by identifying your most important values. What is most important to you in your life? What gives your life meaning and purpose? By aligning your goals with your values, you can ensure that you are working towards things that are truly meaningful to you. And no I don’t mean finding your ikigai!
UNPOPULAR OPINION - Finding Your Ikigai is Overrated!
The concept of Ikigai is overrated! Not the true concept, but the Venn Diagramed nonsense that we have seen through the years. We as human beings don’t understand things unless it has been packaged into a nice little box or category that can be understood by us.
The pursuit of ikigai can be constricting if it is solely centered on work and career.
Such a narrow focus ignores the various other components that contribute to a fulfilling life, such as relationships, personal growth, hobbies, and contributions to the community.
Additionally, the search for ikigai may not always be straightforward and may lead to feelings of frustration and disappointment for those seeking direction. Ultimately, it is crucial for individuals to find their own path and create their own sense of purpose that aligns with their authentic selves, rather than relying on the notion of ikigai as a one-size-fits-all solution.
But I digress, coming back to ego and soul goals.
It's important to recognize that ego goals and soul goals are not mutually exclusive. In fact, many of our most meaningful and successful endeavors may involve a combination of both. The key is to find a balance that works for you and to remember that true success goes beyond external measures of achievement.
For example
A person might set a goal to become a successful business owner, which could be considered an ego goal because it involves achieving personal recognition and status. However, if this goal is in line with a person's values, like wanting to help their community, creating value for others, etc., it can be considered a soul goal. This allows them to pursue their ego goal in a way that is fulfilling and not just motivated by external validation or self-aggrandizement.
In the end, the goal-setting paradox is all about finding a balance between striving for success and finding inner peace. By aligning our goals with our values and focusing on what truly matters to us, we can find success without stressing out and live a life that is authentic, meaningful, and fulfilling.
It is that simple!
If you’ve reached this far, congratulations! Your attention span is greater than the average bear's. Why am I talking about this? Where is the hard-hitting advice/guidance on Sales / Business Development / Consulting / Problem Solving / Financial literacy etc. you might ask?
Well it's quite simple
Before we can truly understand and effectively apply new knowledge, we must first train and refine our mindset, cultivating the necessary openness, curiosity, and flexibility to fully embrace the learning process.
Only then can we be primed to receive, comprehend, and integrate new ideas and insights, truly expanding the boundaries of our understanding and potential.
Adi (Founder)
Next week, we’ll talk about Artificial Intelligence and Chat GPT and how you can utilize it to your benefit! Relevant for all, whether you are looking for a new job, trying to excel in your current one or starting a new business.
Till Next Time
Subscribe to the Growth Mindset Newsletter here and have each newsletter delivered directly to your inbox. Next week we talk about AI/ChatGPT and how you can start using it today!
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